( "Rule, Britannia" playing, clock bell tolling )
( watch alarm beeping )
Wow, I'm really late again.
Maybe they'll finally fire me.
( laughing )
What? Locked?
SPONGEBOB: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.
SpongeBob?
( knocking head against wall )
The horror...
it's unspeakable.
Don't you see, Squidward?
It's closed!
The Krusty Krab is closed!
You mean I got out of bed for nothing?
The doors are locked...
the doors are locked, and we are on the outside!
Outsiders.
What are we going to do, Squidward?
There are Krabby Patties inside all alone.
Just stand aside, lad,
and let me unlock the door.
Mr. Krabs, you're here!
Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried
something might have happened to you.
When the world would have been deprived
of the greatest food known to man.
Oh, you made me drop me keys.
Give me some space, lad!
Can't a crab get a little space?!
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.
Harsh.
( laughing )
Argh! Me back!
Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
No, I'm just doubled over in pain
fighting back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!
Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.
I am hurt, you idiot!
I'm sorry I snapped at you, laddie.
It's just me back is killing me.
It's me old lumpy mattress...
it's like trying to sleep on broken coral.
I'm going out of me mind.
Ouch!
Oh, me back.
( grumbling )
Poor Mr. Krabs.
What are we going to do, Squidward?
Why do anything?
I like the new Mr. Krabs...
he yells at you more.
( laughing )
I'm serious, Squidward.
So am I.
We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress
and surprise him with it as a gift.
Then we'll never have to be late to work again.
What?!
You want me to spend my hard-earned money
on my richer-than-me skinflint boss?
No, thank you.
That's okay, Squidward!
You'll warm up to the idea.
Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.
No problem, buddy.
I always wanted to go to a mattress store.
Wow! Wow!
I've never seen so many mattresses.
Yeah.
How many do you think there are?
Ten.
Cool.
There's plenty more than that.
Try 'em out... find one you like.
( springs squeaking )
( air hissing )
( clanking )
( imitating car engine sputtering )
( tires squeal, crashing )
( motor whirring )
Ooh!
( laughing )
( SpongeBob and Patrick laughing )
( laughter continues )
What are you morons doing?!
Making a card for Mr. Krabs.
To go with his new mattress.
Oh, I see, you're just kissing up to the boss
to make me look bad!
Well, I won't stand for it!
Give me that card!
Hmm! Trying to outsmart me, will you?
Ha-ha!
There, I signed it for all of us.
Hey, you didn't even help pay.
Oh, that's okay.
As long as Mr. Krabs is happy.
KRABS: Oh, me back!
Well, here goes another useless attempt
to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress.
Argh!
( groaning )
That's queer... me mattress seems strangely cozy
and... butter... like.
( snoring )
ALL: Surprise!
Armageddon! What?
You? Oh! You?
What in a blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?
We noticed how miserable you were
on your lumpy, old mattress...
So I suggested we get you a new one.
I thought it was your idea.
So, where's me old mattress, then?
( steam whistling )
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs.
I took care of that personally, too.
I had it hauled away to the dump.
( Krabs shouting )
All... my... money was in that mattress!
What?!
Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!
No!
( groaning, babbling )
Mr. Krabs!
No...!
And we got you a card.
Is there money in it?
Nope.
( groans )
( siren wailing )
( tires squeal )
SPONGEBOB: Is it serious, Doctor?
Will Mr. Krabs be all right?
Mr. Krabs is in a cash-coma.
Only the return of his money can save his life.
It was SpongeBob's fault!
Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!
I knew it!
Not so fast!
This card says, "This was all my idea! Love, Squidward."
If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through,
you're going to jail.
Oh... you did this, SquarePants!
If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump,
I am going to mur...
( policeman clears throat )
( laughing nervously )
Help you do it myself.
Wow, he really does care.
PATRICK: What a dump.
( gate rattling )
We've got to get in there, Squidward.
Mr. Krabs is counting on us.
PATRICK: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that
the mattress over there?
Terrific, Patrick, you found it!
What? Where? Let me see!
Over there, Squidward,
underneath that really big guard worm.
( worm growling, snoring )
Oh, that figures.
Oh, no!
This is horrible.
What is it, Doctor?
This man has no insurance.
He'll never be able to afford this room.
You're right, nurse.
Extract the patient to the hallway, stat!
( Krabs groaning )
SPONGEBOB: Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress all right.
Let's go get it.
Okay, here's the plan.
You two quietly go in there,
remove the mattress out from under the guard worm
without "waking the worm."
Why not?
Because that would be rude, Patrick.
And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm.
He'll eat you alive!
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you going to do?
Oh, I've got the most important job.
I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.
Gee, thanks, buddy.
My pleasure.
Now let's get a move on.
( laughing )
( panting )
Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick?
SPONGEBOB: You can see everything from up here.
PATRICK: Wow!
( sighs )
What are you morons doing?
Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
PATRICK: Where? I can't see 'em.
( all shouting )
Wow! Wow!
( laughing )
Let's do it again!
What did you idiots do?
Squidward, what are you doing in there?
You were supposed to keep watch!
Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too!
I didn't do it!
You blockheads woke... ( worm growling )
the... worm.
( Squidward screaming, fabric tearing, worm growling )
DOCTOR: Doctor?
DOCTOR 2: Yes, Doctor.
Regarding your patient, Doctor, I have come to this conclusion.
Yes, go on. We have to surgically remove him
from out in front of the candy machine
so I can get to the Nutty-Nut Bar.
Of course. Nurse!
I'm on it.
( Krabs groaning )
Worm Bait to Retriever,
we're in.
Out.
Retriever to Worm Bait,
stay in, don't go out.
Understood. Out.
No, in! Out.
Understood. Out.
SQUIDWARD: Look...
you're on the far side of the dump, right?
Affirmative.
Good, then make lots of noise
to draw the guard worm
away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.
Affirmative. Out.
Oh, that's why he calls himself the Retriever.
Why are we called Worm Bait?
I don't know.
( ululating )
Oh, yeah.
( both ululating )
Great idea, Patrick!
( ululating and banging )
( growling )
And my perfect plan falls into place.
( laughing )
( ululating and banging )
Uh, SpongeBob?
Yes, Patrick?
I think I know why our code name is Worm Bait.
( growling )
( stammering ): Nice worm.
Good, kind, gentle worm.
( snarling )
Ooh!
( panting happily )
Oh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.
Huh?
Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.
See if he plays catch!
Okay.
See the stick, boy.
Go get it, boy!
( barks )
Coast is clear.
Squiddy, you are a genius.
Ouch! What the...?
Hey, I needed a wooden spoon.
I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket.
And now for the mattress.
( fabric rips, Squidward grunts )
I should have guessed.
( Squidward screaming )
Excuse me, Doctor.
Administrator Flotsom, what can I do for you?
It has come to my attention
that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.
Yes. Yes, he is.
What were you thinking, man?
We're trying to run a business here.
We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.
Not to worry. Nurse!
I'm on it.
All right, you two, what's the holdup?!
SPONGEBOB: We feel silly!
Come on, do it for old man Krabs.
SPONGEBOB: Okay.
Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?
Sure, but first, put on this cologne.
Steak sauce?
Okay, so you two are dressed as choice cuts.
You go in there and yell "Trick or treat!"
The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy,
he'll leave to buy some, then we take the mattress.
Give me that cologne.
Now get in there!
SPONGEBOB: Happy Halloween, Squidward!
I am not going to get hurt this time.
( rattling )
What the...? Isn't that Mr. Krabs?
( screaming )
( growling )
That guard worm doesn't look very happy.
Run, Mr. Krabs!
Run like you're not in a coma!
( sniffing )
( growling )
It's... me money!
( snarling )
( growling )
( worm yelps )
Oh, money!
I promise I'll never leave you alone again.
Hey, Mr. Krabs.
( barking )
No, Mr. Krabs, it's us.
Trick or treat.
Oh, hey, SpongeBob.
I didn't recognize you.
Say, why are you two dressed as meat?
Not just meat... We're choice cuts.
Right, Squidward?
Oh, I give up.
( worm snarling )
( screaming )
( screaming and shouting )